How many times should I forgive?
Ten years ago, a day before our 20th wedding anniversary, I was informed about my husband’s affair. Days later, while inside the car having an argument , he told me he is leaving , I begged him to stay because we have a very sickly four year old son who needed him most. I choose to forgive and it took me a decade to forget..
But when wounds were healed.. Another shock of my life came….. for the second time… the second mistress is never better than the first.. She is also married but living with a second partner, may be my husband would like to be the next in line. Nobody told me. It is me who discovered it. Yes I stalk, I read messages on his phone and I found out. That was May 2019. The following month I went with my husband in his farm. I don’t usually do it but womans instinct is real. There with my two eyes, the woman with her children, is living in our farm house. I almost fainted, I felt so weak I just sit inside the car. I thought I’m brave to confront them, but no, I did not utter a word while we were in the farm. At home, I confronted my husband and he denied having an affair. With all the evidences, I still manage to make myself believe that he is telling the truth.
Sometimes we choose to believe a lie because we are afraid of the truth.
Yes, truth will set us free. But lie makes me numb of the pain and I am afraid of the pain, and lie temporarily comforts me.
Then COVID 19 came. We were on community quarantine the entire 2020. She was stranded more than 500 kms away from my husband. For almost a year I felt so relieve and at peace…
But it is temporary
She came back.
And nightmare begins
I
i
the fatfeet 